Mom Confessional

I am always comparing myself to other moms. And I always fall short.

I hate baby play sometimes. There are rare times when it comes naturally to me and it's a blast. Most of the time, I can't even do it. It numbs my brain.

I have internet friends. Like never-met-in-person, message-board-chatting, digital-world-only internet friends. I love them and wouldn't like to know life without them.

About 90% of the time, I feel like I'm going through the motions. I have moments where I think, "Yes, this is what it's all about." But most of the time, I feel like there is something missing and I wonder why my life isn't more like Kelle Hampton's.

I miss being pretty, not fat, and having a flat tummy. And I miss my husband (not just in this picture, but every night):

I love my son more than I love my daughter. But it's okay for me because I don't have a daughter. Yet.

I worry constantly about autism. Tommy has hit all of his milestones on time and is a perfectly normal baby. But if he doesn't respond to me when I call him by name or babble every second of every day, I get a little panicky and Google-crazy.

I miss his hair already. My mother-in-law cut it and I cried (pre-op photo-op).

Lastly, I drink two Diet Cokes each day. I wish I could stop, but I can't. Aspartame = crack. 

St. Patrick's Day, Murphy Style

I married a Murphy. So that means we have to celebrate St. Patrick's Day in some way. This year, it came and went and it felt...not right. So I called up my family and invited them over Saturday for some corned beef and cabbage. Here's what happened:

I decorated.

I baked green chocolate chip cookies and made green vanilla ice cream. 

Yum. 

He found this mug in the back of our cupboard. 

What a weirdo. 

Check out these little noonskees.

At first, my niece wouldn't set foot in my house (she's the cutest grumpiest grump you'll ever meet). 

And my 5-year-old nephew lost his first tooth. 

I love entertaining. My husband is a great cook and we make a great team except when we yell at each other. Stay tuned for Tommy's first birthday party. The theme: cows. Look Moos Turning One! On the menu: cheese, hamburgers, and milk and cookies.

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Literally. 

Two funny stories about my deeds which I am still doing, but not bragging blogging about on a daily basis. 

First one: On Fridays, I drive-thru McDonald's on my way into work for coffee. I get up to the counter, pay for my own order and then wait awkwardly. "Uhhhh...is that guy done?" Pointing at the car behind me. "Uhhh yeah." (He's thinking I'm an idiot). "Uhhh....can I pay for his, too?" He's truly baffled. I blurt out "I'm doing good deeds for Lent!" Nervous laugh (I'm the champion of the nervous laugh).  McDonald's employee: "Well, I have to get a special code because I'm swiping your card twice." Okay, okay. I get the receipt: $1.84. Sheesh. I hope it at least made him smile. 

Second deed: My husband got on the computer after work last night and was checking his email.  I walk by and all I see is match.com. Immediately in a tizzy: "What do you think you're looking at?" And I look closer...www.bethematch.org. He's signing up to be a bone marrow donor. Crap. 

We both signed up for a friend, someone who was in his class at the fire academy. I found out just a few minutes ago that he passed away today. So so so tragic. My heart is broken for his whole family, of course, but especially his momma. Can't even imagine. 

Almost done!

With Tommy's room. There was crap...

Crap...

Crap...

Crap everywhere.

Blah. Now it's blue.

Much better.

Less crap.

I need a bigger dresser.

Cute idea I stole from Young House Love.

It's not quite done yet. 

P.S. I'm eight months old today (and my nursery isn't finished)!

Rug: Ikea

Furniture: Bergstroms 

Curtains: Joann's Fabric and Heat 'N Bond

Book Ledges: Ikea

Lamp: Target

Bedding: Target

Good Deed #3

In light of recent events, I went online and donated to the Tsunami relief effort through the Red Cross, which I think is a wonderful organization (doesn't everybody?)

I'm starting to feel boastful. But I'm going to roll with it.

Hey, I've stuck with it longer than the 30-Day Shred.

Lent Day 2

Just call me Mr. Deeds. Yup, I've done two good deeds now.

A girlfriend that I've fallen out of touch with from high school is having a baby girl in March sometime. I messaged her on Facebook for her address and am sending her this.

I was so proud to show off this flower. I was amazed at my crocheting ability and how far I've come!
So, it will be in the mail tomorrow.

Oh, were you missing a daily dose of Tommy?

Much obliged.

What are YOU giving up for Lent?

I asked my husband this last night. And he said, "Well I plan to diet and get in at least 30 minutes of exercise a day." Since when has Lent become a New Year's resolution-type deal? Remember how Jesus gave his life for us and all that? Umm...I do.

But really, I retorted with something to the effect of "You're so lame! It's not about what you are giving up for Lent, it's what you are GIVING for Lent." He said that was good. Really insightful. Really deep.

Insert cute baby picture here.

I was inspired by my new neighbor, who, while I was at PJ storytime last night, dropped off a bowl of beef stew, a hunk of bread, and some brownies. Just because. And it was bomb.

For Lent, I want to do a good deed every day. Something cheesy like pay for the people behind me at the drive-thru or give a homeless guy a $20 instead of my leftover change. I want to document here, not because I want to be all like "Hey, I did this awesome, selfless thing today." More because I want to be accountable to something/someone.

My first good deed:

Wrote my lonely Grandma a note just to say I love her. I think she'll like it. I don't know if this qualifies as a good deed. It's more like a nice thing to do.  I'm warming up, okay?

I'm considering this picture a good deed since it made you laugh.